Rantings of a Bastard

Saw a car on the road today that had the license plate "TARDIS".

I posted this on FB yesterday, but I thought I'd put it up here as well....



In 'honor' of Bill O'Reilly once again taking up the gauntlet against the "War on Christmas", I have this to say. If you're shopping, and an employee of the store you're in tells you 'Happy Holidays' instead of 'Merry Christmas', and it offends you...

Keep it the fuck to yourselves.

The odds are good, especially if it's a national chain, that the holiday greeting is dictated by corporate overlords, who honestly do not give two shits about any harassment their employees get over said greeting.

Yes, this does happen. I worked, for 12 years, for a national chain of copy centers. (The chain's current name rhymes with FedEx Koffice.) And yes, the holiday greeting (and oh so many other things) was mandated by corporate. We could get written up if we didn't use the correct greeting. Mind you, I worked third shift, so I ignored this, but that's not the point.

Don't ask to see their manager, don't write a nasty letter. Just let it go.

And Happy Holidays.

I swear, the shirt I bought was dark green, but I got it home and it was dark brown.

.... still a nice shirt, but is my color vision going, or my mind?

Sheriff Joe Arpaio, proving that even on Thanksgiving, he can be cheap bastard of an asshole.

I'm not saying break out a seven course meal for them, but I'm pretty sure vegetarian turkey soy casserole counts as cruel and unusual punishment.

So a temporary nuclear deal with Iran has been reached. Naturally, some people are upset about it.

Honestly, Lindsey... have a fucking mint julep already and deal with your case of the vapors.

Is it a perfect deal? Fuck no. But it's better than sticking our head in the sand and pretending it will all get better just by either ignoring it or saber rattling.

Seriously, olives on deviled eggs? WTF?

Paprika, people. Maybe a touch of garlic.

At this point, can we really be sure that the ghost of Chris Farley hasn't possessed Toronto Mayor Rob Ford?

ahaahahahahahaahahahahahaha

.....

Man, fuck Tom Brady.

Hackers linked to the group "Anonymous" may have gotten into systems owned by the U.S. Army, the Department of Energy, and the Department of Health and Human Services, to name a few.

Why do I picture a few hackers being sent to Gitmo in the near future?

House Republicans want to impeach Eric Holder for, among other things, not defending an unconstitutional law.

Also, for not suing the states of Washington and Colorado for decriminalizing marijuana.

A spy, whose naked, decomposing body was found padlocked inside a gym bag, that was itself in a bathtub, "most likely died by accident".

He left no trace DNA on the lock of the bag, and they found none of his hand-prints on the bathtub, BUT ACCIDENT!

This is a tracking website for a satellite that's going to pile into the Earth in the next day or two. It seems to require frequent reloading, probably due to people not being sure as to where exactly it's going to pile into the Earth.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

So, in my D&D game tonight, the Warforged character starts investigating the inside of this ruined tower while the other PCs (and some NPCs) are nearby. He's pretty much just making sure it's safe.

Nope.

So you have a 300 lb. living construct of wood, metal and crystal start falling falling through the collapsing floor. He's scrabbling on to anything he can grab to not fall who knows how far. (Well, I do, but I'm the GM.)

One of the other PCs tries to throw him a rope. I call for a to-hit roll because this is happening that fast. He rolls a 1. He throws the rope all right. The entire rope.

I let him know he can try to grab the Warforged in a 'last-ditch' attempt to keep him from falling. He manages to do so, but is not strong enough to pull the Warforged out. So he calls for help from the (strength 9) Goblin NPC to help.

Picture the scene from "Kung Fu Panda" where Mantis is holding the two ropes of the rope bridge. "WHAT WAS I THINKING?"

Only then does the Warforged remember that he can teleport.

that was very nearly a complete train wreck of an Impact Wrestling show...

Christmas commercials? Already?


Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck

And one of the PCs in the Warhammer game I'm in just promoted himself to Grand Theogonist (with the approval of most of the Archlectors) by smiting the previous Grand Theogonist with Ghal Maraz.

With one of the two elevator cars down for maintenance, some jackhole has been pressing all the buttons.

If I catch this guy (and it's not a child) Imma rip his nipples off.