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Dear stupid, drunk, stoned and/or paranoid people
Stay the fuck out of my store.
1) Stupid: nuuuuuuuurrrrrr.... I waited until the day before I needed these 42 different files printed out, so I can sign one page on each file, then hand them back to you so you can make copies of them. nuuuuuuuuurrrrrr.... the person e-mailing the files has been trying to send them for 7 hours. (Here's a hint, asshole. Next time, have them courier a CD to you the day before. Or drive down. It's a 3-4 hour trip, and you wouldn't have been spazzing out every five minutes for the three hours you were here.)
2) Drunk/Stoned: Dude, do you sell cigarettes/rolling papers/beer here? (Hey! Clueless fuck! This is a copy center. The Shell station is around the corner, you fucking jackass.)
3) Paranoid: This was a new one for me. Luckily, this was all on the phone.
Customer: If I send a fax from here, will they be able to tell who it's from?
Me: Well, if you fill out a cover sheet....
Customer: No, I don't want them to know who it's from.
Me: Ooookay. Is your name on it?
Customer: No.
Me: Anything that could identify you? Your address, social security number, things like that?
Customer: No.
Me: Do you care if they know it came from a Kinko's?
Customer: What do you mean?
Me: It's going to have our fax number on it when they get it. There's no way around that.
Customer: Oh, that's fine.
Me: Anything else?
Customer: Washington, DC is long distance, right?
Me: ........ yes.
(Oh good. An anonymous fax to DC. I just wonder what this could be.)
1) Stupid: nuuuuuuuurrrrrr.... I waited until the day before I needed these 42 different files printed out, so I can sign one page on each file, then hand them back to you so you can make copies of them. nuuuuuuuuurrrrrr.... the person e-mailing the files has been trying to send them for 7 hours. (Here's a hint, asshole. Next time, have them courier a CD to you the day before. Or drive down. It's a 3-4 hour trip, and you wouldn't have been spazzing out every five minutes for the three hours you were here.)
2) Drunk/Stoned: Dude, do you sell cigarettes/rolling papers/beer here? (Hey! Clueless fuck! This is a copy center. The Shell station is around the corner, you fucking jackass.)
3) Paranoid: This was a new one for me. Luckily, this was all on the phone.
Customer: If I send a fax from here, will they be able to tell who it's from?
Me: Well, if you fill out a cover sheet....
Customer: No, I don't want them to know who it's from.
Me: Ooookay. Is your name on it?
Customer: No.
Me: Anything that could identify you? Your address, social security number, things like that?
Customer: No.
Me: Do you care if they know it came from a Kinko's?
Customer: What do you mean?
Me: It's going to have our fax number on it when they get it. There's no way around that.
Customer: Oh, that's fine.
Me: Anything else?
Customer: Washington, DC is long distance, right?
Me: ........ yes.
(Oh good. An anonymous fax to DC. I just wonder what this could be.)
no subject
What's going on is one of the other stores sent us an order, only they didn't share it like they're supposed to, so it's entered in to our system like we should be paid for it. Only the customer doesn't pay us, they think they're going to pay at the other store.
In other words, it's a cluster-fuck.