What a dumbass

Okay, so this dude broke into Steve Jobs' house and stole computers. And then... he tried to use them.

I can only imagine that the computers realized that he was not Steve Jobs, returned from the dead, and called the police. I imagine this, because the real version is a little boring.

And this surprises anyone?

Paul Ryan: The President's stimulus package is a horrible waste of money!

*beat*

Pssst.... can you send some of that stimulus money to us? (Not directly to Ryan, just businesses in Wisconsin. Some of which were green jobs, which is also opposed to, given his statements on the Energy Department.)

Squeee and yet.... fuck

Neil Gaiman is coming to Columbia next month.

Of course, it's taking place on a Friday evening, so I'll be asleep and then at work.

ouch

Gun safety, my ass!

Not surprising

Ann Romney: Fuck you all, you're not getting any more tax returns. (I'm punching it up a little.)

Here's what gets me about this issue.

They're damned if they do, and they're damned if they don't. Okay, look, your typical member of the Republican base is not going to give a monkey's brass balls about this, but Romney cannot win with just the Republican base. He needs to attract some independents. And one of the things those independents are looking at are the lack of info on his tax returns.

If he doesn't give out more years' worth of returns, the Obama campaign and various Democratic allies will say he's hiding something. Could he be hiding something? Sure. He could. But you can damn well know that someone at the IRS has since checked those returns over and over again.

If he does release more returns, and there's nothing majorly damning there, people will ask why the hell he hid them for so long. So, I have to imagine there's something there, that while not illegal (because the IRS would have a goddamned field day), would hurt his campaign.

Except.

Except he's basically been running since 2007. Yeah, he lost the nomination battle in 2007 to McCain (he came in third, just slightly behind Huckabee, in overall delegates), but you know he was thinking, even then, that he would be running again in 2012 if McCain didn't win. And as we know, McCain didn't win.

So, at the very least, he could have made his returns look nice and politically safe for at least a couple more years then he's released. Which is just further fuel on the fire.

So what could be in there? Massive donations to the Mormon Church? Ehhh... you know, I'm an atheist, but if someone wants to donate huge whacks of their own cash to a religion, fuck it, it's their money. Could it be that he's paying a really low tax rate because most of his income is through capital gains? Well, that actually wouldn't be a shock. It's assumed that's the case, in fact. Could it be that he's worth a quarter of a billion dollars? Fuck it, we already know he's out of touch with the middle class and the poor, based on his "I have friends who own NASCAR teams" statements.

Personally, I think even if you set this issue aside, he doesn't have much of a chance of becoming President in 2012. Does that mean he'll run again in 2016 if Obama gets a second term? Frankly, I doubt it. He's be 69 then, same age as Reagan when he got elected, and Reagan's the record holder. (McCain, if he had won, would have been 72, and if you don't think his age combined with Sarah Palin's lack of... well, everything... played into their defeat, you're fooling yourself.)