Dear college students

It seems like we go through this every semester, but could you stop pulling fire alarms/setting things on fire in every dorm on campus? Yes, I know it's you, because when the rate of me hearing fire engines goes up completely coincidentally the week you come back to campus, every semester for the last 10 years.... well... you see why I'm blaming you.

Here's one thing he's not backing down on

Rick Perry potentially calls for Bernanke's death for "treason".

And yet fears of sharia law are higher in all the Tea-tards minds.

(Yes, I'm exaggerating a bit. I'm allowed. I'm NOT RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT.)

Not actually from the Onion

Abercrombie & Fitch wants to pay 'The Situation' to stop wearing their clothes.

.... I got nothing.