Dear mass-mailers, get your heads out of your asses.

Yes, I understand you want to get your coupons or your fliers out to as many people as possible, but when it's something for retirees and older people, you know, sending a bucket of coupons to a 35-year-old is not the wisest move. *toss into file 13*

Dear Bed, Bath and Beyond, I have no idea how I ended up on your mailing list. I have never even been in one of your stores. I walked by one about two years ago. That's it. Please stop cluttering up my mail-box. *toss into file 13*

Dear USPS, I send maybe one or two letters a year. Why? Because I pay my bills online and talk to most of my friends and relatives the same way. Also, having the comic-strip character "Cathy" on there... just a stellar choice, let me tell you. I guess Marmaduke was already taken. *toss into file 13*

And finally, dear SCE&G, while I appreciate the warning about avoiding power cables when digging in my yard, I don't actually have a yard. You sent this notice to everyone in an apartment building. I know this because I saw twenty of them in the trash can already. We would require heavy machinery to dig up the asphalt around here, and I think someone would notice. *toss into file 13*

Well now....

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