A rant, in rhyme

On the subject of Keanu Reeves playing John Constantine:

You cannot act, you little git,
You cannot act, one little bit.
Your acting wooden, your delivery archaic,
Your characters really quite prosaic.

From Speed to Matrix to Bill and Ted,
Your lines the same, how strange,
Your characters inside seem dead,
From film to film, your lines you rearrange.

"Whoa!" "Dude", this is your goal?
And you think to play a Brit?
Whoever cast you in this role,
Quite frankly, is full of shit.

I will not watch Constantine,
No, not even if it were free,
Better that it go unseen,
At, least, it's better for me.

I urge you all not to go,
Spend your money on another flick,
For if my advice you forego,
This film will no doubt make you sick.

It is the year of the Monkey

Kind of fitting that it's an election year.

Now that's a response to SCO

ahaahahahaahahaahaha

Take that you greedy corporate motherfuckers!