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Star Wars musings
Last Monday, at the weekly get-together to eat wings and bullshit, the conversation, at one point, turned to how much Episode 1 and 2 sucked. The universal consensus was the following:
Episode 1 points of suckage:
Jar Jar Binks
Racially stereotyped aliens
the underwater bong city
Anakin building C-3PO (come on, he's a fucking kid... this is Star Wars, not Star Trek)
Episode 2:
The title (Come on you fucking hack, Lucas... would calling it "The Clone Wars" like several fan sites mentioned before it came out have fucking killed you?)
The name of the villain, Count Poopy, I mean Dooku.
The lack of Jar Jar being torn apart by anything.
Most of the rest of the movie.....
....
....
....
You know, about the only redeeming factor of the movie was Yoda's little green self getting all Miyamoto Musashi on Dooku's ass. That, and practically any part with the baddest motherfucker in any universe, Samuel L. Jackson.
Episode 3:
Okay, bear with me... I know it's not out yet. But the suck parts will no doubt include the continued existance of Jar Jar, along with further "haven't you morons figured it the fuck out yet?" screams at the assembled Jedi Knights and Masters.
Frankly, all things considered, the one thing that they need, they must include in Ep 3 is, as a final scene, Palpatine talking to the now horribly fucked up Anakin, and we had damn well better hear the words "Yes, my master." and that oh so familiar intake of air. And they had damn well pay James Earl Jones enough cash to get it done right.
Episode 1 points of suckage:
Jar Jar Binks
Racially stereotyped aliens
the underwater bong city
Anakin building C-3PO (come on, he's a fucking kid... this is Star Wars, not Star Trek)
Episode 2:
The title (Come on you fucking hack, Lucas... would calling it "The Clone Wars" like several fan sites mentioned before it came out have fucking killed you?)
The name of the villain, Count Poopy, I mean Dooku.
The lack of Jar Jar being torn apart by anything.
Most of the rest of the movie.....
....
....
....
You know, about the only redeeming factor of the movie was Yoda's little green self getting all Miyamoto Musashi on Dooku's ass. That, and practically any part with the baddest motherfucker in any universe, Samuel L. Jackson.
Episode 3:
Okay, bear with me... I know it's not out yet. But the suck parts will no doubt include the continued existance of Jar Jar, along with further "haven't you morons figured it the fuck out yet?" screams at the assembled Jedi Knights and Masters.
Frankly, all things considered, the one thing that they need, they must include in Ep 3 is, as a final scene, Palpatine talking to the now horribly fucked up Anakin, and we had damn well better hear the words "Yes, my master." and that oh so familiar intake of air. And they had damn well pay James Earl Jones enough cash to get it done right.