The rant is back

[kierthos]

Okay, so I'm at one of my favorite places to eat, trying to enjoy my food while surrounded by churchgoers and soccer kids, when I hear it. A nearby couple, talking about nutrition and crap like that.

The woman says she's not eating enough vegetables, but then comments "Does the tomato in my omelet count?"

The man replies "Well, technically, tomato is a fruit."

What kind of needlessly pedantic bullshit is this? Do some people have that overwhelming desire to feel superior to others so much that this is how they get off? Okay, last I ever checked, way back before it got even more fucked up and geometric on me, the food pyramid had fruits and vegetables in the same fucking block. As in "2-4 servings of".

But anyway.... Ladies and gentlemen, cooks and water-burners alike... tomato is not a fruit. I don't give a flying fuck what the classification of it is. I don't give a good goddamn what wikipedia says. A tomato is a vegetable.

If you think it's a fruit, I have two words for you: Tomato Jelly.

Think about it. Apple is a fruit. You can have apple jelly. Grape -> Grape jelly. Hell, I've seen strawberry jelly, raspberry jelly and even lemon jelly.

But no tomato jelly.

If you made a kid a peanut butter and tomato jelly sandwich, you'd be lucky if he just glared at you angrily after taking a bite. He would, in fact, be fully justified in going all Menendez on you.

So, in conclusion, if you ever feel you have the urge to say "Well, technically, tomato is a fruit." consider... are you getting laid enough? Odds are good that you're not, if this is what matters to you.

Comments

[egearman.livejournal.com]

Wouldn't a thick ketchup be tomato jelly?

No, I kid... it's not a jam, jelly or preserve unless it has pectin.

[kierthos.livejournal.com]

I dare you to try a peanut butter and ketchup sammich.

[egearman.livejournal.com]

No thanks.

[kizzie.livejournal.com]

It's not technically a fruit. it IS a fruit. Seeds on the inside or something. Cucumber is also a fruit.

[kierthos.livejournal.com]

To which I direct you to the "Make a peanut butter and tomato jelly sandwich" statement.

Also, when was the last time you ever heard of someone going out to pick tomatoes in the tomato orchard?

[kizzie.livejournal.com]

You pick them off vines, like grapes

And you *could* in theory make jelly out of it, but I don't think we're talking the same jelly. Is Jelly the same as Jam for you?

[kierthos.livejournal.com]

Here in the States, jelly and jam are not the same things. Jelly is harder to spread and has a ... well, jelly-like consistency. The closest thing to it's consistency that isn't a jelly.... well, have you ever seen cranberry sauce?

Jam is much easier to spread and obviously isn't as solid. Useful for sandwiches, toast, and english muffins.

[kizzie.livejournal.com]

Jelly is basically flavoured gellitin... which tastes good. But is the boiled up bones of cows ;)

But yes, you're thinking the same way we do here for jelly and jam. I got this sudden feeling that maybe the two were the same.

Now I have to work out which country does that

[kierthos.livejournal.com]

Also, if cucumber is a fruit, they what does that make pickles? HAHA!

No one ever said "MMMMMMmmmm these pickles are such a wonderful fruit!"

[kizzie.livejournal.com]

They're horrible, never touch them so wouldn't know :)

[kierthos.livejournal.com]

.......

Pickles are awesome! Especially on burgers.

Gah, next you'll be badmouthing onions....

[kizzie.livejournal.com]

Onions are great. Pickles... ycuk

[jdack.livejournal.com]

Some of us have this seemingly unstoppable tendency or instinct or, I dunno, to spew off random factoids without thinking about it.

For example my ex used to bitch at me for things like, once while watching TV a commercial with a sumo wrestler came on, and my friend made some comment about "boy he must eat a lotta cheesburgers." And almost autonomously, without thinking, I said "actually their diet subsists entirely of this weird high protein stew or soup" because I just happened to have read that a while back and couldn't stop myself.

I suppose it came off as smug and self-important, but it was totally unintentional.

Not that there aren't a lot of jerkasses out there who consciously put effort into trying to sound superior to everyone, (just look at the comments to nearly any discussion on the interwebs, hah.)

I think spewing it out like that is maybe a reaction to having amassed far too large a mental library of useless facts.

[jdack.livejournal.com]

Oh and for the record I agree with you: tomato is not a fruit in my book because science aside, I equate fruits with sweet tastes.