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Entry tags:
fiction
"You've got to come out here." Adam said. "You've got to see this."
"What?" I asked. It's not like it was a busy night. Adam was leaving early, lucky bastard. Don't get me wrong, the money is nice here, but being stuck on the night shift for half the night, by yourself, and bored is not the best thing in the world. Not like I'm supposed to sleep at work.
"Dude, you're not going to believe me. Come out here."
I dropped the Free Times I had been reading. Fucking crossword puzzle was giving me a headache anyway. I never could understand that... a newspaper might run those silly Jumbles or Crypt-o-quotes, but if they had a crossword puzzle it was either so simple a child could solve it, or it was trying to unseat the New York Times for difficulty. What the hell... I walked out to where Adam had stopped and saw it.
"The fuck?"
"No kidding."
"No, seriously... the fuck?"
Lying on the floor in the express area, was a prosthetic leg. Now, I've found a lot of things left in the express area... credit cards, drivers' licenses, money, heck even some softcore porn.
I looked at Adam. "The last customer we had in express, was what... an hour ago?"
"More."
"Whatever. And he walked out under his own power, right? No hopping on one leg or anything?"
"From what I could tell, yeah."
"And you'd think he would have mentioned it when he saw it. It's not like it's in the corner or something." No, indeed. The prosthetic leg was lying practically in the middle of the floor. I went over and picked it up, and began turning it over in my hands.
"What are you doing?"
"Well, I was thinking, you've seen those dollar bills that have that 'whereisgeorge.com' stamp on them?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm looking for a 'whereismyleg.com' stamp."
"Is there one?"
"Of course not. Don't be silly."
"So, what are you going to do with it?"
I gave it some thought. "Well, if I could get into the manager's office, I'd put it on his desk."
We both had a bit of a laugh about that.
"Nah, I figure I'll put it in the back. Not like it's going to fit in our tiny little lost and found area. If no one claims it in a week, maybe I'll have a lamp made out of it."
---------------------------
Author's note: This is complete fiction. Yes, I used to work with a guy named Adam. Yes, we both found some wierd shit left in the express area of Kinko's. Yes, including some softcore porn. No, we have never found a fake leg. Figured I'd head those questions off at the pass.
"What?" I asked. It's not like it was a busy night. Adam was leaving early, lucky bastard. Don't get me wrong, the money is nice here, but being stuck on the night shift for half the night, by yourself, and bored is not the best thing in the world. Not like I'm supposed to sleep at work.
"Dude, you're not going to believe me. Come out here."
I dropped the Free Times I had been reading. Fucking crossword puzzle was giving me a headache anyway. I never could understand that... a newspaper might run those silly Jumbles or Crypt-o-quotes, but if they had a crossword puzzle it was either so simple a child could solve it, or it was trying to unseat the New York Times for difficulty. What the hell... I walked out to where Adam had stopped and saw it.
"The fuck?"
"No kidding."
"No, seriously... the fuck?"
Lying on the floor in the express area, was a prosthetic leg. Now, I've found a lot of things left in the express area... credit cards, drivers' licenses, money, heck even some softcore porn.
I looked at Adam. "The last customer we had in express, was what... an hour ago?"
"More."
"Whatever. And he walked out under his own power, right? No hopping on one leg or anything?"
"From what I could tell, yeah."
"And you'd think he would have mentioned it when he saw it. It's not like it's in the corner or something." No, indeed. The prosthetic leg was lying practically in the middle of the floor. I went over and picked it up, and began turning it over in my hands.
"What are you doing?"
"Well, I was thinking, you've seen those dollar bills that have that 'whereisgeorge.com' stamp on them?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm looking for a 'whereismyleg.com' stamp."
"Is there one?"
"Of course not. Don't be silly."
"So, what are you going to do with it?"
I gave it some thought. "Well, if I could get into the manager's office, I'd put it on his desk."
We both had a bit of a laugh about that.
"Nah, I figure I'll put it in the back. Not like it's going to fit in our tiny little lost and found area. If no one claims it in a week, maybe I'll have a lamp made out of it."
---------------------------
Author's note: This is complete fiction. Yes, I used to work with a guy named Adam. Yes, we both found some wierd shit left in the express area of Kinko's. Yes, including some softcore porn. No, we have never found a fake leg. Figured I'd head those questions off at the pass.
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