.... Imma punch someone inna face

Whichever blithering idiot in Hollywood who thought "Hey, here's a story that's entirely about the Japanese... you know what it needs? MOAR KEANU." should never be allowed to make a single decision in the entertainment field ever again.

The Forty-Seven Ronin. Do you know it?

Yes, a new theatrical version of this legend (there's been a few movies and TV series about it before) is coming soon, starring everyone's least favorite wooden actor, Keanu Reeves. Why, with the range of acting he showed in "Constantine", there's no limit to how far he'll disappoint us in this.