And what did you bring for Show and Tell?

I brought heroin! And before you ask, teacher, I brought enough for everyone!

And then his stepfather went to the school to get the heroin back later that day. Shockingly, shockingly I say, he was arrested.

I'm not sure about this

Sushi-making machines.

Can I just say, I prefer the personal touch to my sushi?

Signs that your campaign is over

1) When the guy in second place drops out, and you're not even mentioned.

2) You have less then 1/4th the number of delegates as the front runner.

3) A $500 check to appear on Utah's ballot bounces.

There you go

George Zimmerman is in police custody and will be charged with second degree murder.