Well, it's one kind of family gathering

"Honey, why don't you do something with my parents while I'm at work?"
"Okay."

In other weird news snakes are fragile wash, air dry.

And is it ironic where this accident occurred?

So, because I'm bored

and the fact that I have over seven hours left here at work with currently nothing to do (yes, that's right, all the work I needed to accomplish was done within the first 40 minutes of getting here), I'm going to post this.

Did you ever wonder what the process was for which parables ended up in the Bible? I mean, did all the Apostles sit around and decide? Was there some sort of vetting process?

John: "Okay, so we're decided. 'The Prodigal Son' is going in. Now, on to 'Turning Water Into Wine'..."
Matthew: "No, don't put that one in."
Thaddeus: "Why not?"
Matthew: "Man, I got so drunk then, and I spent an hour hitting on some cute young chick... that turned out to be a shepherd's son."

*general laughter*

John: "Well, we can leave that part out, okay? I mean, we don't want to give the idea that we condone holy men having sex with young boys."

*uncomfortable pause*

Matthew: "I don't know...."
Philip: "Hey, look, we put in the 'Good Samaritan' one. You lobbied so hard for that one. Cut us a break here."
Matthew (hiding Samaritan 9000 foot massager): "Okay, but you promise we keep me getting wasted out of it?"
Judas: "Sure, sure. I mean, hey, we don't want anyone to think we're dicks or anything, right? We all need to look as good as the big guy in this."
Andrew: "Where is Jesus anyway?"
John: "He's off visiting his old lady."
Andrew: "You mean the one that everyone says is a..."
John: "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop right there. That shit was started by that Roman jackass Flavius Maximus. Mary shot him down when he asked her to some party or something. Guy's been a dick about it ever since."
Bartholomew: "Right, man, major uncool. And no one bring that up where the big J can hear. He's already got enough problems with the Romans. If he finds out Flavius started that shit, he'll try and take that fucker down."
John: "Anyway, back to business."

*groans*

John: "Look, we get a couple more voted on, and we can take the rest of the day off. What does everyone think about the 'Loaves and Fishes'?"
Judas: "Do we really want to include good catering among the lessons?"