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The rant is back
Dec. 9th, 2007 11:47 pmOkay, so I'm at one of my favorite places to eat, trying to enjoy my food while surrounded by churchgoers and soccer kids, when I hear it. A nearby couple, talking about nutrition and crap like that.
The woman says she's not eating enough vegetables, but then comments "Does the tomato in my omelet count?"
The man replies "Well, technically, tomato is a fruit."
What kind of needlessly pedantic bullshit is this? Do some people have that overwhelming desire to feel superior to others so much that this is how they get off? Okay, last I ever checked, way back before it got even more fucked up and geometric on me, the food pyramid had fruits and vegetables in the same fucking block. As in "2-4 servings of".
But anyway.... Ladies and gentlemen, cooks and water-burners alike... tomato is not a fruit. I don't give a flying fuck what the classification of it is. I don't give a good goddamn what wikipedia says. A tomato is a vegetable.
If you think it's a fruit, I have two words for you: Tomato Jelly.
Think about it. Apple is a fruit. You can have apple jelly. Grape -> Grape jelly. Hell, I've seen strawberry jelly, raspberry jelly and even lemon jelly.
But no tomato jelly.
If you made a kid a peanut butter and tomato jelly sandwich, you'd be lucky if he just glared at you angrily after taking a bite. He would, in fact, be fully justified in going all Menendez on you.
So, in conclusion, if you ever feel you have the urge to say "Well, technically, tomato is a fruit." consider... are you getting laid enough? Odds are good that you're not, if this is what matters to you.
The woman says she's not eating enough vegetables, but then comments "Does the tomato in my omelet count?"
The man replies "Well, technically, tomato is a fruit."
What kind of needlessly pedantic bullshit is this? Do some people have that overwhelming desire to feel superior to others so much that this is how they get off? Okay, last I ever checked, way back before it got even more fucked up and geometric on me, the food pyramid had fruits and vegetables in the same fucking block. As in "2-4 servings of".
But anyway.... Ladies and gentlemen, cooks and water-burners alike... tomato is not a fruit. I don't give a flying fuck what the classification of it is. I don't give a good goddamn what wikipedia says. A tomato is a vegetable.
If you think it's a fruit, I have two words for you: Tomato Jelly.
Think about it. Apple is a fruit. You can have apple jelly. Grape -> Grape jelly. Hell, I've seen strawberry jelly, raspberry jelly and even lemon jelly.
But no tomato jelly.
If you made a kid a peanut butter and tomato jelly sandwich, you'd be lucky if he just glared at you angrily after taking a bite. He would, in fact, be fully justified in going all Menendez on you.
So, in conclusion, if you ever feel you have the urge to say "Well, technically, tomato is a fruit." consider... are you getting laid enough? Odds are good that you're not, if this is what matters to you.