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Jun. 3rd, 2007
Transformers musings
Jun. 3rd, 2007 03:17 pmI've probably going to have to wait for the movie to come out on DVD before I see it, but I was thinking about Transformers today.
Mind you, this was more with the old cartoon in mind then anything else...
How did Starscream live as long as he did? I mean, come on, how many episodes boiled down to "Megatron is within easy walking distance of winning when Starscream inappropriately pulls some traitorous act, allowing the Autobots to win because Megatron is too busy fending off the stupid bastard"? (mind you, I was thinking of it in terms of C++ code as an if-then statement...)
I'd have probably turned Starscream into an object lesson after the first time. But, you know, because I'm a bastard, I'd have done it like a performance evaluation.
Me (as Megatron): Ah, Starscream, come in, come in. Sit down.
Starscream: What do you want, Megatron?
Me: Well, there have been some problems with your performance lately.
Starscream: What? I'm in perfect working order! I am the most fit Decepticon on this base.
Me: No, no, not that. That's fine. I mean, when it comes to turning into a jet and doing strafing runs, there's really no-one better.
Starscream: Then what is it?
Me: Weeeell, you have to understand, there's been some concerns that your strafing runs should actually be targeting Autobots, not Decepticons who've pissed you off, or that you perceive as holding you back.
Starscream: But you are holding me back! I should lead the Decepticons!
Me: See, that's the problem right there. Management is not just believing you should lead, it's actual leadership ability.
Starscream: What.
Me: And that's why we're going to have to let you go.
Starscream: What
Me: Well, that, and trying to kill and/or depose me three times last week.
Starscream: I'm being fired?
Me: Think of it as an opportunity to explore other job options. Or.... *charging up of big laser cannon* I could melt you into slag right here.
Starscream: You know, I think I saw a help wanted sign at Radio Shack.
Me: See? Now there you go.
Mind you, this was more with the old cartoon in mind then anything else...
How did Starscream live as long as he did? I mean, come on, how many episodes boiled down to "Megatron is within easy walking distance of winning when Starscream inappropriately pulls some traitorous act, allowing the Autobots to win because Megatron is too busy fending off the stupid bastard"? (mind you, I was thinking of it in terms of C++ code as an if-then statement...)
I'd have probably turned Starscream into an object lesson after the first time. But, you know, because I'm a bastard, I'd have done it like a performance evaluation.
Me (as Megatron): Ah, Starscream, come in, come in. Sit down.
Starscream: What do you want, Megatron?
Me: Well, there have been some problems with your performance lately.
Starscream: What? I'm in perfect working order! I am the most fit Decepticon on this base.
Me: No, no, not that. That's fine. I mean, when it comes to turning into a jet and doing strafing runs, there's really no-one better.
Starscream: Then what is it?
Me: Weeeell, you have to understand, there's been some concerns that your strafing runs should actually be targeting Autobots, not Decepticons who've pissed you off, or that you perceive as holding you back.
Starscream: But you are holding me back! I should lead the Decepticons!
Me: See, that's the problem right there. Management is not just believing you should lead, it's actual leadership ability.
Starscream: What.
Me: And that's why we're going to have to let you go.
Starscream: What
Me: Well, that, and trying to kill and/or depose me three times last week.
Starscream: I'm being fired?
Me: Think of it as an opportunity to explore other job options. Or.... *charging up of big laser cannon* I could melt you into slag right here.
Starscream: You know, I think I saw a help wanted sign at Radio Shack.
Me: See? Now there you go.