Return of All Quest Designers Will Be Beaten

[kierthos]

A new entry in "Dumbest Quest Ever".

So, I'm tooling around in Howling Fjord today (as I have done every quest I can find in Borean Tundra, including the ones inside the Nexus), and I come across one that requires me to go into a mine and kill a monster.

Simple, huh?

No.

The monster is asleep you see.

Well, that shouldn't stop me. I'm a rogue. By definition, I don't play fair.

Me (to mine supervisor): I'm on this. One monster slaughtering coming right up.
Mine supervisor: So, here's what you'll need to wake up the monster...
Me: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Already taken care of. *shows off dagger* I plant this in the middle of his back, he'll wake up.
Mine supervisor: No, you need to go and kill rams, to get ram meat, to make a monster snack to wake him up. Once he's awake, then you can kill him.
Me: What.
Mine supervisor: You can find the rams all around this area.
Me: What.
Mine supervisor: What are you waiting for?
Me: Let me get this straight. I can't go in and just kill the monster. I have to cook it a meal before I kill it? What kind of thinking is that?
Mine supervisor: Well.... we didn't want it to die hungry....
Me: Fuck this. Solve your own problems.

And it's not even "The monster is elite, but once you give it the snack, it's damage goes down." No. It's a "We couldn't think of a rational way to make this quest take longer then 30 seconds, so we chugged some crazy pills and half a bottle of cough syrup, and we call that inspiration!"

Comments

[harald387.livejournal.com]

http://www.wowhead.com/?quest=11284

You can't walk in and stab it because he's *blocked the entrance* and needs to be *lured out with a tasty snack*.

I've got nothing against amusing criticism (and do it myself a fair bit of the time), but sometimes there are key details missing...

(here via theweaselking )

[martinhesselius.livejournal.com]

Insanity.

[cuddlycthulhu.livejournal.com]

You know, I think an awesome creative idea for you would be to go back, make a character at one, and rewrite the quests he gets like you did above.

[kierthos.livejournal.com]

Except that you actually can walk right up to him. I mean, yes, it's flavor text that he's blocking the entrance, but.... he's not.

[mithras.livejournal.com]

I would think that if he's blocked he entrance, then there are parts of him that are stabable.

[mithras.livejournal.com]

Also, is this an Alliance quest? I don't recall it.

[kierthos.livejournal.com]

Yes it is. Howling Fjord, Fort Wildervar, home to a couple other dumb quests, but more "annoying dumb" then "lack of common sense dumb".

[kierthos.livejournal.com]

The thing is, a lot of the early quests make a whole lot more sense.

Quest giver: Okay, you're a wuss. Go kill those really weak-ass animals for a while and come back to me. Or go pick grapes or something. Because, um, yeah, we need wine. Yeah, that's it.

[cuddlycthulhu.livejournal.com]

True, but I think it'd be amusing to see someone's progression and I think the humor would come from that.

In other news, I can't agree with this comic more. (http://www.threepanelsoul.com/)

[egearman.livejournal.com]

This one (http://www.crispygamer.com/comics/ding/Ding-2008-11-18.aspx) is pretty good as well.

[cuddlycthulhu.livejournal.com]

That's awesome.

[mithras.livejournal.com]

Thinking on it more...

If it had been a "He's hiding somewhere in the cave, and this food will draw him out", summoning the mob, that would have been much better.

"Wake him up before you stab him to death"... Well, that is sort of the dumb thing that I expect of Alliance. The Horde is much smarter. :)