So, I'm thinking about starting a religion

[kierthos]

Now, before people start giving me shit over this, just read it...

The first tenet of this religion is "Every religion may be wrong. Even ours. Heck, probably ours." No claims to have the one true path to enlightenment, or the hereafter, or even the one true path to the nearest bar.

I can easily see a prayer starting with "Oh God, or whoever. For all we know, Odin is listening to this. Or no one is. Anyway, if there is, you're probably busy. I mean, the new season of Lost has started, but if you could find it in your heart, I could use the lottery numbers for this Wednesday's drawing."

No person in this religion would be ecclesiastically higher in position then any other. Everyone is at the same level, that way no one can issue any sort of ruling. So, no priests or any other sort of position like that. No supreme religious figure. Also, no holy days. (I mean, let's face it. Either every day is holy or no day is holy.)

No "It must be correct, because it's written in this here book, scribed a long time ago by people who very well may have been all fucked up on shrooms."

No commandments. Tedious damned things anyway, and most of that shit is covered by laws these days.

No proscribed sex acts. You want to have sex with someone of the same gender? We don't care. You want to masturbate like a red-assed monkey surrounded by bananas? Also fine. (Exception: Pedophiles are not welcome. In fact, one of the probably very few ecclestiastical duties will be to bless the 2x4 before you start whaling on the pedo with it. But each person gets to choose their own blessing. "Oh, mighty 2x4, blessed be thy splinters, which I hope you will leave behind as I ram ye up this sick pedophile's ass.")

No holy places. Too much money gets spent on that shit anyway. Besides, if we're wrong, then it's not a holy place. So what's the point?

No calling for a crusade or a jihad. Because, hey, we don't know that we're right. Maybe we are. Probably not. For all we know, the ancient Egyptians had it right, and they're all gone. Could be the Sumerians had the straight shit. Most people couldn't point to where Sumeria was on a map.

No televangelists. I mean, hey, we don't know we're right. Why should we take up valuable TV time that could be used for showing Heroes, or re-runs of M*A*S*H?

I might add more to this later. Or I won't.

Comments

[egearman.livejournal.com]

Slightly interesting idea... but it won't get anywhere, especially here in the south.

[kierthos.livejournal.com]

See, that's the best part. The religion wouldn't be interested in proseletyzing. I mean, there'd probably be some literature on the vein of "Eh, why not?" but no real attempts to convert the masses. Because, hey, we may be wrong.

[the-corruption.livejournal.com]

Yes, no morals, no ethics. We humans know best how to run our lives. We need no divine direction. I mean, look at ALL THE PROGRESS WE"VE MADE SO FAR!! We're ALL equal. And making us feel bad because we're selfish, hollow, empty shirts with nothing to offer our fellow peoples is the only REAL sin.

If I've said it once, I've said it a million times. Moral relativism is for pussies.

..and hippies. Which, by my definition...

[kierthos.livejournal.com]

One could also argue that the morals brought by religion have also brought us crusades, jihads, and heaps of intolerance.

Besides, it's a fucking joke religion. I just liked the idea of a prayer beginning with "Oh god, or whoever" and went from there.

And I'm not a hippie.

[the-corruption.livejournal.com]

If ya LOOK like a Hippie, SOUND like a Hippie...

...and, well, let's be honest here, SMELL like a hippie...

[kierthos.livejournal.com]

I may look like a hippie. (I hate tie-dye and floral prints, and let's face it, I'd rather wear synthetic fabrics then 100% itchy and natural ones. Plus, I can't picture a lot of hippies wearing black trenchcoats.) I don't think I sound like a hippie. (I don't think most hippies are in favor of the death penalty for convicted pedophiles, for instance.) And there is a definite lack of a smell of pot and patchouli around me. I don't burn incense either. And I shower daily.

Mind you, I have been having a bit of a problem with gas lately... Can ham give you gas?

[have-you-seen.livejournal.com]

*love*