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Axis of Evil

by John Cleese

Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis
of Evil", Libya, China and Syria today announced that
they had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil", which they
said would be more evil than that stupid
Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in
his State of the Union address.

Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed
the new Axis as having, for starters, a really dumb
name. "Right. They are just as evil . . . in their
dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim il
Sung."Everybody knows we're the best evils . . . best
at being evil . . . we're the best."

Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over
being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if
they could join the Axis of Evil. "They told us it was
full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.

"An axis can't have more than three counties",
explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussien. "This is not
my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had
Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So, you
can only have three, and a secret handshake. Ours is
so wickedly cool."

International reaction to President Bush's Axis of
Evil declaration was swift, as within minutes, France
surrendered.

Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain
triumvirate status in what has become a game of
geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan and Serbia announced
that they had formed the "Axis of Somewhat Evil",
forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the
"Axis of Occasionally Evil", while Bulgaria, Indonesia
and Russia established the "Axis of The Generally
Disagreeable".

With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the
desirable clubs filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador,
and Rwanda applied to be called the "Axis of Countries
That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to
Host the Olympics".

Canada, Mexico and Australia formed the "Axis of
Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have
Some Nasty Thoughts About America", while Scotland,
New Zealand and Spain established the "Axis of
Countries That Want Sheep to Wear Lipstick".

"That's not a threat, really, just something we would
like to do", said Scottish Executive First Minister
Jack McConnell.

While wondering if the other nations of the world
weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush
granted approval for most axes, although he rejected
the establishment of the "Axis of Countries Whose
Names End in 'Guay", accusing one of its members of
filing a false application.

Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied
the charges.

Now this is funny

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