What we need is a good church drinking game.

First, have a drink before going to church. (If it's good old C of E, have a pint.)

Once at church:

The first time you see a little girl in a princess dress, take a drink.

The first time a baby starts wailing, take a drink.

The first time an old lady glares at you for bringing alcohol (or the cooler it's in) into church, take a drink.

When the altar boys flinch as the priest walks past, take a drink.

Every time the priest asks the congregation to rise, take a drink.

Every time the congregation sings a hymn, take a drink.

When the collection plate goes around, take a drink. Also, take some change.

When it's time for communion, take a drink. Then, get in line for communion and let the priest give you a drink.

If a fundraiser or bingo is mentioned during the announcements, take a drink.

If you are asked to leave the church, take a drink.