Dear telemarketers, etc.

If you're trying to sell me something, stop. I don't want it.
If you're trying to ask for money, stop. I don't have any.
If you want me to participate in a survey, first, stop and make sure that it applies to me. Then, move the goddamn microphone closer to your mouth so I can hear what you're saying. Then stop, because I don't want to partcipate in your survey.

And I don't fucking speak Spanish! The phone line is in my name, not my old room-mates!

What? Gonzales lied?

Wait, we already knew he was a lying prick. This just confirms it.