Dear Customer X (name withheld)

No, constantly coming in around or after midnight is not a good thing.
No, it's even worse when it's the last week of classes at the university down the street.
No, you don't get a discount just for being you.
And no, you can't have it at 8 a.m. You may have noticed the line of students in the store with you? Yeah.

"new" icon

I made this out of a video clip from a Dr. Who episode.