And so, I return.

Our hero (me, who else?) set out to heckle the neo-Nazi gathering today, armed with a digital camera and a rapier-like wit. However, I realized that would not be effective, and returned to get the cudgel-like wit instead.

I arrived at the statehouse grounds at about 10:45 a.m., and got myself a nice shady spot. As it would turn out, I was sitting where the neo-Nazis were going to be setting up, although they were not supposed to arrive until noon. I conversed for a while with a few other people, one of whom was quite knowledgeable about the group that was going to be here today. No, he was not a member... but he was from Minneapolis, where the racist suck-wads (or a great many of them) were actually from.

This is not to say that South Carolina doesn't have enough racists of their own. But it says something when none of the others want to associate themselves with these thugs. I'm actually not kidding. Some Klukkers were supposed to be in attendance as well, but either they thought better of it, or someone stuck a couple red socks in with their whites, and well, pink Klan robes just don't convey the same image. (Okay, I wasn't serious for long...)

Anyways, the appointed hour arrived, and I was asked to move from my spot, as the thugs had a permit, and I, of course, did not. Don't be mistaken, I wasn't asked to leave the area. I was however, asked to park my ass somewhere else.

The neo-Nazis approached/marched (for those of you who are familiar with downtown Columbia, they came down Main Street), and begin to array themselves on the north steps of the statehouse. As they passed by, various slogans and chants were yelled. I felt particularly inspired and yelled out "Ladies and Gentlemen, the Hitler Youth Gay Pride Parade!" Several people near me laughed at that, although anyone more then a few yards away couldn't hear, as there were aging hippies chanting something about peace and love. (Which, I swear, sounded like Pizza Slut to me.)

There were roughly 75 of the Hitler Youth, most of them in Nazi-esque uniforms (brown shirt types), and one wearing what had to be a bad replica German helmet. Made it look like the foreskin was riding up, I swear. There was also one in an SS-type uniform, and all of the adult women that stood in their ranks... well, they kinda looked like stewardesses. *shrug* There was also one guy in a suit, who, even from 50 feet away, gave off this Sopranos kind of vibe.

There were about 2-3 times as many counter-protestors, although most of them were relegated to an "official protest area". They kept up a steady stream of chants and songs for the two hours I managed to stick it out. Yes, I left before the thugs were done... I have to work tonight, and the steady stream of bullshit and hate was getting to be too much to bear. Anyway, only the really shouty protestors were put there. And they were probably the ones, if given a choice, would try to start something. (BTW, I had resolved, if it came to it, I would not throw the first punch. But by the time I left, there had been no violence. A good deal of swearing though.)

The 'alleged' topic of this rally was Illegal Immigration. The neo-Nazis are against it, it seems, although they seemed to be against legal immigration as well. Oh, and Jews, and black people. The topic wandered a bit as they moved from speaker to speaker. They met my expectations in regards to content (hate, bullshit, and drivel) and eloquence (none to speak of). None of them seemed to have the slightest concept of a prepared speech. I suppose this can only be a good thing, as their inarticulation didn't help their message at all. Actually, I'm not sure eloquence would have helped, as I don't think they had a single supporter outside of their own little inbred group.

What is it about the so-called master race looking so damned unevolved? I swear, maybe one in five might be able to pass an Armed Forces PT drill. A good number of them were carrying 100 extra pounds (or as I commented, the bigger, fatter racists eat the smaller weaker racists). Mind you, I'm not exactly interested in seeing fit, healthy neo-Nazis... It was hard to tell, but some of them had to be sneaking drinks of water or something, because by the time I left, they'd been standing in the sun for a couple hours (with apparently a couple more to go), and it's bright and sunny. Mind you, I wouldn't cry if one or more of them passed out from heatstroke either.

Their message, as I said, was mostly inarticulate, and rambled greatly from the point of illegal immigration. They used a number of racial epithets, and, really, neo-Nazis... come on, guys... it's not a wise idea to call black people names when over half the cops present are black. They're not there to protect us from you. They're there to protect you from us. (Mind you, a lot of the cops had these huuuuuge nightsticks, and a couple of them looked like they really wanted a reason to thump a few Hitler Youth across the forehead.)

Anyway, I (along with many others) continued to make humerous comments and/or yell things at the neo-Nazis. My personal favorite (once the rally started) was "Salute if you're gay!" right before one of the many en-masse Seig Heils. "Hitler was a queer" was a perenniel favorite among the crowd as well. And once people were reminded of the founder of the American Nazi Party, "Rockwell was a fag became another".

One of the speaker they had was, I shit you not, their candidate for President. Yes, the neo-Nazis are running a campaign, and their candidate is from South Carolina. They introduced him, of course, as the next President of the United States, which made for some laughs. Someone near me asked how likely it was that he could win. I mentioned that it would be pretty difficult, considering that he won't be on the ballot on most states. Of course, the neo-Nazis mentioned that they were against the Federal Elections Commission because they're just sooooo mean to the neo-Nazis for making them obey the same rules for running someone for Fuhrer.

Somewhat surprisingly, they were anti-Bush, but they made up for it by being anti-Democrat. Even more surprisingly, they were anti-war in Iraq and Afghanistan. Of course, their stated reasons for being anti-war included bringing the troops home so they could then guard the U.S.-Mexico border. (Yes, they did manage to accidentally veer on topic now and again.)

As for me, I head to bed. I may post some pictures of the neo-Nazis later, with appropriate (read: amusing) Photoshop edits.