![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
[pro-wrestling] Just a mild rant
Feb. 8th, 2006 02:10 pmI'm going to take a moment out of my busy lifestyle of grinding Timbermaw faction on WoW to bitch about pro-wrestling a bit.
Now, keeping in mind that I really only watch WWE's Monday Night RAW program, and maybe little bits of TNA (depends on what's on the other channels, at the time, really), I have to say that I, even in the depths of a flu-medicine coma, could be writing better stories then whichever fuckwitted moron or morons WWE are currently using.
Case #1: Shelton Benjamin's "Momma" - Okay, stereotypes are nothing new in pro-wrestling. Hell, I have doubts it would survive without them to some extent. However, when a gimmick finally makes one of my co-workers (also a wrestling fan, and btw, a black guy) say that WWE has finally managed to offend him, it's over. It's done. Find the writer who came up with this piece of shit idea and shoot him in the face until he dies. He wasn't offended by the Nation of Domination (a mostly black stable from several years ago). He wasn't offended by Mark Henry's "Sexual Chocolate" gimmick. He wasn't offended by the Godfather or Papa Shango or any of the other black gimmicks from the past several years. But this one did it. Way to go.
Case #2: Vince McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels. Come on, this sucks. No one really cares. Vince doesn't need anything to make him despised by the crowd other then just being himself, and short of fisting kittens in the middle of the squared circle, nothing Shawn Michaels does is going to make him any more of a face. The whole storyline reads like it's trying to convince Bret Hart that he needs to come back and kick Vince's ass. And that's not going to happen. Bret Hart, from all reports, wants nothing to do with WWE, or Shawn Michaels, and as little as possible with Vince McMahon. Yes, he agreed to a "Best of" DVD, but that's a whale of a difference from coming back into a WWE ring again. Drop it. No one cares.
Case #3: Okay, we get it. HHH is married to the boss' daughter. Could you possibly make the #1 contender tournament a bit fucking less obvious? Couldn't they have made it a 16-person event? I mean, Snitsky, Chavo, Shelton Benjamin (before HBK got kicked out and replaced by Shelton), Rosey, Viscera, Tyson Tomko, Trevor Murdoch and Lance Cade could have filled the thing out a bit, and at least given the impression that it really could be anyone. But, hey, even then it wouldn't matter, because HHH is married to the boss' daughter. If he wants to be champion again, he will be. And again, and again, and again, probably long after his prime. He's Hulk Hogan with entrance music by Motorhead. But if we're going to have HHH be champion, could we at least have storylines that lead him to be champion material, rather then a couple-three wins that make him the #1 contender?
I really wish WWE was hiring writers. I don't have any actual experience at writing storylines, but I have been a wrestling fan for over two decades. I know I could write better then whoever is doing it now.
Now, keeping in mind that I really only watch WWE's Monday Night RAW program, and maybe little bits of TNA (depends on what's on the other channels, at the time, really), I have to say that I, even in the depths of a flu-medicine coma, could be writing better stories then whichever fuckwitted moron or morons WWE are currently using.
Case #1: Shelton Benjamin's "Momma" - Okay, stereotypes are nothing new in pro-wrestling. Hell, I have doubts it would survive without them to some extent. However, when a gimmick finally makes one of my co-workers (also a wrestling fan, and btw, a black guy) say that WWE has finally managed to offend him, it's over. It's done. Find the writer who came up with this piece of shit idea and shoot him in the face until he dies. He wasn't offended by the Nation of Domination (a mostly black stable from several years ago). He wasn't offended by Mark Henry's "Sexual Chocolate" gimmick. He wasn't offended by the Godfather or Papa Shango or any of the other black gimmicks from the past several years. But this one did it. Way to go.
Case #2: Vince McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels. Come on, this sucks. No one really cares. Vince doesn't need anything to make him despised by the crowd other then just being himself, and short of fisting kittens in the middle of the squared circle, nothing Shawn Michaels does is going to make him any more of a face. The whole storyline reads like it's trying to convince Bret Hart that he needs to come back and kick Vince's ass. And that's not going to happen. Bret Hart, from all reports, wants nothing to do with WWE, or Shawn Michaels, and as little as possible with Vince McMahon. Yes, he agreed to a "Best of" DVD, but that's a whale of a difference from coming back into a WWE ring again. Drop it. No one cares.
Case #3: Okay, we get it. HHH is married to the boss' daughter. Could you possibly make the #1 contender tournament a bit fucking less obvious? Couldn't they have made it a 16-person event? I mean, Snitsky, Chavo, Shelton Benjamin (before HBK got kicked out and replaced by Shelton), Rosey, Viscera, Tyson Tomko, Trevor Murdoch and Lance Cade could have filled the thing out a bit, and at least given the impression that it really could be anyone. But, hey, even then it wouldn't matter, because HHH is married to the boss' daughter. If he wants to be champion again, he will be. And again, and again, and again, probably long after his prime. He's Hulk Hogan with entrance music by Motorhead. But if we're going to have HHH be champion, could we at least have storylines that lead him to be champion material, rather then a couple-three wins that make him the #1 contender?
I really wish WWE was hiring writers. I don't have any actual experience at writing storylines, but I have been a wrestling fan for over two decades. I know I could write better then whoever is doing it now.