Merry ()@#$)^$ Christmas, you filthy animals.

'Twas the night before Christmas,
And all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring,
Not even a mouse.
Which was verified by the motion detectors in the house and yard.

The bear-trap was set,
By the chimney with care.
With hopes that Saint Nicholas,
Soon would be snared.

The chimney was mined,
Milk and cookies were banned.
The roof had claymores,
Anti-aircraft guns were manned.

That fat red bastard is not getting away this year.

Ho. Ho. Ho.