And now, the rant

So, I've been thinking about this ever since the Supreme Court decided that medical marijuana was, yes indeed, quite illegal. Now, I don't have cancer. I have no plans on getting cancer. But you never know, right? And I think that, yes, I would like something to relieve the pain of chemotherapy, or the cancer, or both. And while pain medications are available, there has to be a reason for the niche market of medical marijuana, and we can't simply blame all this shit solely on California.

So, there's a way around this.

I hereby declare that I am in charge. Of the entire nation. It can't be that hard, if Bush is doing it, right?

Congress, you're fired. Supreme Court? Pack the fuck up and go home. IRS? You can stick around, but don't count on job security because the tax code is getting fucking rewritten, and it's going to be made easy, and it's going to apply to everyone in the U.S.

But, because I started on a drug-related note, the major focus will be the new drug policy.

It's all legal.

Marijuana? Legal. Cocaine? Legal. Heroin? Legal.

We can stop arresting people for doing drugs, or selling drugs. We can start taxing drugs as a legitimate source of business. We can insure quality standards in the drugs themselves. Too much baking soda cut into the coke? That's a fine. A big one.

But wait, I here you cry, won't this destroy our society? No, it won't. Here's why. People who currently want to do drugs seem to have no problem getting them. People who want to sell drugs seem to have no problem selling them. The cops are overworked, the prisons are crowded. Something is clearly not working. And by making all this shit legal, we can reduce prison populations, increase taxable income from all the drugs being sold, and get rid of a sizeable chunk of the moron population.

You see, because the instant all these drugs are made legal, people will go on drug binges. All the idiots, across this great nation, will be running around, snorting, sniffing, injecting and generally getting themselves all fucked up. It stands to reasons that a large number of these waterheads will then do even sillier things like play a game of chicken with a subway train, try and lick the third rail, or believe that they can fly. And once all these drug-addled jackasses have managed to OD, we've not only reduced the population of many morons, we've also dealt with a large amount of the unemployment rate because odds are, some of these druggies will have had jobs, and people who aren't pill-popping themselves into the hereafter can get those jobs.

All the non-druggies have to do is stay indoors, hide with the kids, and let the bingers off themselves in the polite company of each other.

For my next trick, I will solve our foreign relations problems. (But that will have to wait until another day.)