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The insane theater guy from last night was in for another three or so hours today. I came into work about an hour and a half early, and he was here for at least a half hour before that. So a minimum of three hours, as he didn't leave until around midnight. Luckily, I didn't have to deal with him, otherwise, I'd be in jail right now for what I would term "justifiable homicide". (The courts would disagree, but after I mentioned my rights as a sovereign ruler, I could probably get away with an insanity plea.)
I continue in my desire for the power to kill people over the phone. There would be many less drunken assholes in the world (or at least in Columbia) at the rate I'd be offing them, via some telecommunication snuff device. (I picture some sort of electrical surge that would cause them to violently shit themselves right before taking their brains to a crisp 300 degrees.) Of course, why limit it to the drunken assholes? The shitheads who call us asking for the answers to trivia questions could and should get some voltage right to the brain-pan as well. (Why the screaming fuck would someone need to know whether Ft. Myers or Naples is further south in Florida, and more to the point, of what need is it to call us at three in the goddamn morning for this information?)
What would help is absolute power. Lord Acton got it wrong when he said "Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely." (possibly paraphrasing, but you get the gist of the quotation) You see, if you (or rather I) had absolute power, what could possibly corrupt me? It's the perception of less then absolute power that corrupts. If I had absolute power, no enemy could harm me, so there would be no need to retaliate against them for their futile attempts to remove me from the seat of my power. (Actually, there wouldn't be a seat of power, or a mystic gemstone to shatter, or a ring to toss in a volcano. The power would be in me, and I would be inviolate. Covers all problems there. As well as keeps hairy-footed midgets from trying to sneak by my armies. Not that I would need armies, with absolute power, but there's something snazzy about having minions in matching uniforms.)
So I need absolute power. Doesn't sound like something you can order off the Home Shopping Network, though.
I continue in my desire for the power to kill people over the phone. There would be many less drunken assholes in the world (or at least in Columbia) at the rate I'd be offing them, via some telecommunication snuff device. (I picture some sort of electrical surge that would cause them to violently shit themselves right before taking their brains to a crisp 300 degrees.) Of course, why limit it to the drunken assholes? The shitheads who call us asking for the answers to trivia questions could and should get some voltage right to the brain-pan as well. (Why the screaming fuck would someone need to know whether Ft. Myers or Naples is further south in Florida, and more to the point, of what need is it to call us at three in the goddamn morning for this information?)
What would help is absolute power. Lord Acton got it wrong when he said "Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely." (possibly paraphrasing, but you get the gist of the quotation) You see, if you (or rather I) had absolute power, what could possibly corrupt me? It's the perception of less then absolute power that corrupts. If I had absolute power, no enemy could harm me, so there would be no need to retaliate against them for their futile attempts to remove me from the seat of my power. (Actually, there wouldn't be a seat of power, or a mystic gemstone to shatter, or a ring to toss in a volcano. The power would be in me, and I would be inviolate. Covers all problems there. As well as keeps hairy-footed midgets from trying to sneak by my armies. Not that I would need armies, with absolute power, but there's something snazzy about having minions in matching uniforms.)
So I need absolute power. Doesn't sound like something you can order off the Home Shopping Network, though.