no more hero worship?

Yesterday was the "Down the Rabbit Hole" day, promoted (but not originated) by Warren Ellis in his LJ as superflow. The premise behind it was to celebrate the birthday of Lewis Carroll and to use LJ differently from how you normally do so.

So, in theory, if I had participated, I would have refrained from bitching about my job, the customers/idiots I have to deal with, the fucked up weather here in South Carolina, and all the other regular types of posting I normally do.

I didn't participate.

Not from lack of interest. I thought it was an interesting idea. Several people I know did participate, notable scottmorrison in his running commentary of dealing with rampaging zombies. But I came to the realization that even though I really liked the idea, and I like much of what Warren Ellis writes, I was under no actual obligation to actually do anything.

I suppose I could blame writer's block. I've started easily a half dozen pieces of microfiction in the last month, but none played out for more then a few paragraphs before turning into crap. (To be perfectly fair, they were probably crap to begin with, but it took me at least two or three paragraphs to realize this.)

But that's not the whole of the matter. In some way, I realized that I was under no obligation to treat Warren Ellis' words like Divine Gospel. Don't get me wrong, I like Transmetropolitan, the issues of Hellstorm that he wrote... heck, practically everything I've ever read by him has been damned good. I just didn't feel any actual urge to do something he suggested just because it was coming from the LJ of Warren Ellis.

Kind of interesting when the hero worship ends. I still like his writing. I just no longer feel the need (if I ever really had it) to snap to attention and say "Sir, yes Sir!" when reading his LJ and the occassional command placed therein. (One of which was "Entertain me" or something like that. Why? Isn't he more then capable of entertaining himself? But I digress.)

I don't want to "grow up" to be Warren Ellis any more. Actually, I'm not sure I want to grow up at all.