New feature: Idiot of the Week

Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages. I present to you now a new feature in my LJ, the Idiot of the week!

The premise is this: Either on Monday or Tuesday I will post a rough dialogue of the conversation I have with the biggest idiot I come in contact with at work. Since I work at a Kinko's (copy centre), this can lend to all kinds of idiocies.

This week's entry:

*Phone rings* I pick it up and give the "standard" Kinko's greeting.

Customer: Yeah, my disk won't work. The little metal sleeve came off.
Me: Okay. (What does he want me to do about it?) Can you put it back on, or is it broken?
Customer: It's broken. In half.
Me: Well, we can't repair disks here, we're a copy centre.
Customer: What happens is, I can still put the disk in the drive, and I can see the files, but when I click on the one I need to open, the program opens but the file doesn't.
Me: Okay. (Again, what does he want us to do?)
Customer: So if I bring the disk down there, you can help me, right?
Me: Um, no. If it won't open on your computer, it won't open on ours.
Customer: Well, could you open the plastic case and take the disk out and put it in a new case?
Me: (oh boy) Sir, that requires tools we don't have here. (We don't have a really fine pair of needlenose pliars, for one.) Furthermore, there is a very good chance that we would end up damaging the disk further, making it impossible for you to get this file.
Customer: So there's nobody there who can do it?
Me: I'm pretty sure no one here can do it.
Customer: Could you ask them?
Me: (looking around to see who else is still here) Sir, I can safely say that none of the other co-workers here have as much experience with this as I do, and I don't think I can do it.
Customer: (pause) Hey, the file just opened.
Me: Okay, then save it your hard drive, and then save it to a new disk. (hangs up)

Me (turning to my assistant manager): Someone call the Land of Idiots, their King is missing.