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And the idiot of the week is....
May I have the envelope please, Tina?
Thank you.
The Idiot of the Week is the man who can't listen! (Okay, I didn't talk to this guy, but I overheard the conversation)
*phone rings*
*insert standard Kinko's greeting*
Idiot: I need something cut. How much will it cost?
Co-Worker: Well, it depends. How do you need it cut and how many sheets is it?
Idiot: I just need it cut in half, and it's, I don't know, 300 or 400 sheets of paper.
Co-Worker: Well, we have a machine cutter that we can put 500 sheets of paper in at a time, and it's one dollar per cut.
Idiot: But that would be $300!
Co-worker: No sir, it would be $1.
Idiot: But you said it would be $1 per cut!
Co-worker: I also said we could put 500 sheets in the cutter at once. If they're all in there, and we only make one cut on all the sheets at the same time, it's only $1.
Idiot: I don't understand.
Co-worker: Why don't you just come into the store and we'll show you.
Idiot: Okay.
*hangs up*
All other co-workers: Idiot?
Co-worker: Idiot. *sigh*
Thank you.
The Idiot of the Week is the man who can't listen! (Okay, I didn't talk to this guy, but I overheard the conversation)
*phone rings*
*insert standard Kinko's greeting*
Idiot: I need something cut. How much will it cost?
Co-Worker: Well, it depends. How do you need it cut and how many sheets is it?
Idiot: I just need it cut in half, and it's, I don't know, 300 or 400 sheets of paper.
Co-Worker: Well, we have a machine cutter that we can put 500 sheets of paper in at a time, and it's one dollar per cut.
Idiot: But that would be $300!
Co-worker: No sir, it would be $1.
Idiot: But you said it would be $1 per cut!
Co-worker: I also said we could put 500 sheets in the cutter at once. If they're all in there, and we only make one cut on all the sheets at the same time, it's only $1.
Idiot: I don't understand.
Co-worker: Why don't you just come into the store and we'll show you.
Idiot: Okay.
*hangs up*
All other co-workers: Idiot?
Co-worker: Idiot. *sigh*
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I don't even have the option of having them come in (or going to them) to show them how much of an idiot they are being. :Þ
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Now, I'll admit that before I started working at Kinko's, a lot of things about copiers mystified me, but I could generally figure out what the little pictures/icons/etc. on the copier meant. Sure, I had trouble with transparencies, but that's no big thing.
We have, at least once a week, some moron (never seems to be the same moron) who thinks that even though he's going into a Kinko's that has been in operation for, at a minimum, 10 years, that we will have no goddamn clue what double-sided copies are, so he has helpfully taken his 50 page set of single-sided originals, and turned them back to front so we will know what he means.
We have another subset of moronic jackass who seems to think that they are fully certified Xerox technicians, and thereby can repair anything on the copier they are using, when quite obviously, they have trouble reading the notice on the copier that says to put the originals face down on the copying glass.
Then there are the pains-in-the-ass who seem to think that saying "Hello" as loudly as possible is a perfectly acceptable substitute for "Excuse me, I need some help over here." For this type of jackass, I plan on responding with "Hello." and going back to work. If and when they figure out that they actually need to ask for help instead of giving a standard English-language greeting, I will go and help them. (One of the assistant managers is greatly amused by my plan.)
And I swear to god, if I ever find the motherfucker who got crumbs inside the paper trays of the colour copier, he is DEAD!
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I've found that its really hard to reach through a phone line to strangle someone.
Otherwise, I'd probably be in prison for agravated assault.